All Things New Week 4: Lust
Welcome To REUNION
We are glad that you are here. We hope that you feel save, welcomed and relaxed. We are going to read the Bible, pray, sing a few songs and listen to a short Lead In. We might even have discussions
But.. you’re invited to participate as much as you want.
No expects you to speak or share. We do invite you to remain present. We believe that remaining present - even in our minds - is an act of love.
Please Note: If at any time during today’s conversation if you feel like the content is triggering and you need to stop, take a moment or take the week please do so. This is a safe inclusive community and you matter.
Notes:
Understanding where the struggle all began: Genesis
In the beginning God created humanity and said in your differences (biological etc) you will RULE together and CREATE Together. We were created to partner together in the image of God.
The Apple: We SAW, We Wanted, We TOOK. — this is an important progression we see applied to most of our anti love behaviour (sin).
Results: Sin affects us all in many ways but one in particular is that God says to the female: You will DESIRE your husband and he will RULE over you
Desire — important note!
Desire is good
hoping for the best is good
longing for connection is good
Desire does not mean: steal, covet, strip or usurp from husband.
RULE: Men were created to Rule over creation but not they will RULE over women.
This is not God’s desire, will or plan but a result of sin.
Sin makes men see women as less than instead of partners.
Sin makes men view women as another part of creation they can control or collect. Men no longer rule with but now desire to rule over.
Gen 4: Lamech has taken many wives to rule over
Men now see — want — take women as much as anything else.
Lust?
Lust is not a healthy aspect of desire. Lust is not the chemistry, sexual spark, urge or energy often defined as passion.
by the way these “feelings” are 100% good! These reactions are aspects of healthy sexuality and should be desired when engaged with our covenant (committed) partners.
Lust is abusive by nature: see — want — take
Lust is an anti-love or void of loving desire because lust is all about the sexual objectifications of someone else and that is always condemned throughout scripture because:
to objectify someone one any level is to distort their identity as someone made in the image of God.
Lust turns someone into a something used for MY sexual exploitation.
healthy sexual encounter are based on committed, mutual and consensual relationships.
Lust has nothing to do with consent but control where someone sees — wants — takes
Lust takes from the others person and sadly many women have numerous stories of someone stealing from them (leering eyes, cat calls, slimy DM’s etc).
Jesus Response — Matthew 5:27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell.
Reflection: Deal drastically with sin BEFORE it deals devastation to your community.
Sin is not just about one person but does affect the entire community.
Note - Jesus does not shame the victim of lust here or a victim of sin anywhere in scripture.
What’s are we suppose to do!?
Jesus says stop, cut it off immediately and that sounds easier said than done when many of us have grown up in a hyper sexualized culture that does in some way shape or form promote lust as a healthy aspect of desire.
many of us have on the flip side also grown up on Christian communities where healthy sexuality was never discussed.
worse yet: many of us grew up feeling shame and guilt for natural healthy desires we were told would only lead us into sin which gave birth to purity culture, the Billy Graham Rule, I kissed dating Goodbye… etc.
All Things New:
Beautiful!?
It is not a sin to acknowledge someone is beautiful.
Jesus does not saying noticing someone is beautiful is the same as committing adultery.
In fact: acknowledging SOMEONE is beautiful can actually help us focus on the person versus the something we lust for.
See women as whole people rather than potential threats
Cultivate Lust: Looking is an action in the present/future
Jesus is saying if we look at another person to cultivate an ongoing fantasy of them in the present future for the sake of sexual exploitation we are sinning.
cultivate means intentional, invested, working.
Can you look at someone beautiful without cultivation a sexual fantasy?
what does that type of “look” require from you?
Lust in Marriage?
It is just as much sin to lust - turn your spouse into your person sexual exploit - than a stranger or friend.
Telling men of any age to “just wait till you get married” because wives must submit to their husbands and give their bodies away is a SIN.
If you spouse says no, not now or not “that” ever…. back off!\
Restored Place as Someone
The strongest method to defeat lust is to restore something into someones.
Put more men/women/they in restores places of RULE and Create with you.
Allow men/women/they to work along side one another instead of segregating them from your life. This will allow you to see their gifts and abilities at work which highlights they are someone not just something.
Identify women in your life from whom you can learn, whether its advice about work, parenting, finances, etc. Make it a practice to consult women as well as men when you are making a decision.
Here are REUNION we welcome everyone to our church, to our table and into our leadership circle regardless of gender, sexuality, race, etc…. The more diversity we have around our table the strong we are to Rule and Create together.
Helpful Tips from “The Great Sex Rescue” — by Shiela Wray Gregoire (Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach and Joanna Sawatsky)
Instead of saying, "All men struggle with lust; it is every man's battle," say, "Lust is a battle many people struggle with. In Christ, we are no longer slaves to sin but to the Spirit. When the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed!”
Instead of saying, "Don't dress in a way that could be a stumbling block for your brothers in Christ," say, "You have a responsibility to treat others with respect regardless of what they wear. Take every thought captive to Christ-you cannot be forced to sin by another's clothing. Sin is a choice.”
Instead of saying, "Men are visually stimulated," say, "People are visually stimulated, some more than others, and often but not always, men to a greater degree. But being visually stimulated does not mean you are doomed to lust."
Instead of saying, "Bounce your eyes to ensure you never become tempted by women around you," say, "Treat and respect women as whole people made in the image of God."
Discussion Questions:
How was sexuality discussed in your home growing up?
never, sometimes, birds and the bees or…
How do you react to the progression of anti love behaviour as See — Want — Take?
how does this apply to your own life?
In Genesis humanity was created to Rule and Create together.
Do you have any stories about working with other genders and sexualities that opened your eyes to the beauty of our differences?
Sin has sadly results in “Women desiring their husbands but husbands ruling over their wives”
Remember DESIRE is GOOD & Men went from viewing women as someone to rule WITH to RULE over
How do you react to this result?
Lust is not a healthy aspect of desire
is this true in your own experience?
Wesley says lust is not okay in marriages and in fact is assault/abuse.
How does this line up with 1 Corinthians 7:1-7 (pleas read out loud first)
What is your gut reaction to this passage?
Important notes: Corinthian culture was very sexual (cult and temple prostitution) and men were at the top of pecking order in all things. Men did not have to do anything for anyone let alone for their submissive wives. Open affairs were common and expected among men but prohibited for a wife.
The idea of a man giving his body to anyone and ONLY his wife was unheard of!
How does this passage renew God’s intent for marriage and sex?
If you sense this is a deeper issue for you that you cannot seem to break free from there is victory in Jesus. We have authority in Christ to denounce our sin and to demand “evil” from our presence. The following prayer is tool to engage your authority.
Prayer for Deliverance:
I come before the one true God and declare that I'm a child of God. He who is in me is greater than he who is in this world. Right now, I command all evil spirits that are harassing me (and my family) to attention. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I command that you throw down all your weapons, armour, powers and authorities, and I bind you with chains that can't be broken.
In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I break all rights, grounds, privileges or accesses that have opened up in my life (and my family’s lives) as a result of any activities that we’ve been involved with, any confessed or unconfessed sins, anything we’ve said or done, any places we’ve been to, any people we’ve encountered or been in contact with, or any people who have been in our home/property. Right now, with the authority of the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I command all evil spirits to leave me and my family and our home/property and go to the foot of the cross of Jesus Christ and I command you to never return.
In Jesus name,
Amen
